Self-esteem counselling in Surrey

The term 'self-esteem' reflects the overall opinion we have of ourselves and the value we place on ourselves as people.   The tone may be positive (I'm worthwhile) or negative (I'm useless).  When the tone is negative, this is low self-esteem (or low confidence). Negative beliefs about yourself may have roots in the past but their impact continues in the present day. It can have an impact on many aspects of life such as school, work, personal relationships, leisure activities and self-care.

The central beliefs you have about yourself are more likely to be opinions, rather than facts. These conclusions you have come to about yourself are based on the experiences you have had in your life, and in particular the messages you have received about the kind of person you are.

So, if your experiences have generally been positive, then your beliefs about yourself will be equally as positive. If your experiences have been mixed like most people's, you may have a range of different ideas about yourself dependent on the circumstances in which you find yourself. However if your experiences have been mostly negative, then your beliefs about yourself are likely to be equally negative.

Other people's treatment of us can affect our self-confidence. For example, if you have a boss or work colleague who is constantly undermining your authority or questioning your work, this can lead to you becoming unsure of achieving what you once knew you were very capable of doing. Likewise, at home, if another member of the family is constantly picking at everything you do, eventually you believe that maybe you really aren't good at anything and begin to feel worthless, and therefore start to suffer from low self-esteem.

When your self-esteem is high, the world feels like a good place, full of friends, potential pleasures and opportunities. You can assert yourself, ask for what you want and express your feelings. You feel you can make a difference. Other people in general will respond to your positive attitude, so that even when you don't get your way, you feel good about yourself and them. This reinforces your self-esteem and stimulates your inner growth.

Contact me at counselling@alisonhopkins.co.uk or on 07946 517967 if you would like help in overcoming low self-esteem. Alternatively, you can visit my contact page